“Did you miss me?”
“Stop.”
“Stop what?”
“Whatever you’re doing?”
“What am I doing?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know a lot of things Blaise…Garnier…”
I took a deep breath, as if coming back to my body. My weird dream quickly evaporated from memory with a chill in my bedroom. I wrapped myself in my blanket as my eyes fluttered open. Staring out into the darkness of the room, I tried desperately to recall what I had been dreaming or thinking right before awakening.
I couldn’t.
I sighed and turned to look up at the ceiling. My alarm went off, turning my head it read 4:15.
I inhaled lazily and pulled myself up.
Damn, this was the most consistent I’ve been in a long ass time. I threw the covers off and jumped out the bed to prepare myself.
**
I wasn’t going to toot my own horn, but your girl was killing it.
Twirling. Jumping. Dancing gliding. Arms straight. Knees together. Move those hips. Swing, and rock, and glide. Arms out. Feel the breeze, enjoy the moment. Draw your circle. Leg out, leap. Carry the air. Land…watch the tip. Work on that Blaise. And together. And hands down the body, wind, feel the music in your head. Roll this hips. Move those shoulders. Head back. Arms straight and strut, strut, strut and bend… go for it and glide, glide, swing and turn and glide, enjoy, twirl, set up and….leap! I landed, back arched, arms above, the perfect line down my body.
Fuck. I missed this feeling. This feeling….of greatness.
I slowed down, as I spun slowly on the rink, realizing that I was once again, not in my own little world, but at evening practice with my team. My team who had apparently stopped to watch me do my last routine. Their eyes all on me.
I panted at the expressions I saw.
Surprise.
Awe.
Smiles.
Frown.
Envy.
I reached up and turned back on my hearing aid to Kelly’s loud squeals as she made her way towards me.
“Oh my God Blaise, I haven’t seen you skate like that in years, it was so beautiful!” My best friend cupped my face excitedly as I laughed.
“You looked like a fucking goddess on ice.” She whispered before hugging me.
My heart raced at the praise.
That’s when I saw Otto, standing by the rink clapping proudly. His eyes twinkling. My partner was happy. Had he also been impressed
“That was nice Blaise.”
“Look at your legs. Oh I wish my legs were longer!”
“Are you trying to compete? That routine can win.”
I blinked in surprise at the comments.
I knew I had done well, but I must have done really well for these girls to actually say something. My smile widened.
“I need to get on the ice with you!” Otto screamed passionately, causing all of us to laugh. I blew him a kiss as Kelly let go of me.
I turned to Zoe, but she actually looked away and continued stretching on the side. She had no comments, questions. Really? And what kind of look was that? Zoe turned back around and smiled brightly, but I could have sworn there was a stiffness in her lips.
“Routine looks good Blaise. You fixed you jump offs and lands. See if you can get a little higher.” She skated past me and I nodded. Catching a slight side look from her peripheral as she passed.
“Ooohhh I sense some jealousy.” Kelly whispered. I nudged her to shut her up. I’m not going to get too proud now. I knew I had some work to do.
It was the slow clapping to the right that caught my attention. I felt the familiar sensation in my belly. Even as I turned around, I already knew who it was. I let go of Kelly and my legs moved automatically towards him. I could feel the other skaters turning their attention towards us, and I hated it but couldn’t stop. I wanted to see him, but not like this. So blatantly in front of everybody? That was not how I did my shit. But I couldn’t help it. I physically couldn’t.
I skated to a stop in front of him, as he grinned and leaned over.
“Not bad.” Gunnar remarked. “That first land, watch the tip.”
I nodded. We’d practiced that this morning. “But….everything else…..” I waited, holding my head high.
“Everything else?” He mused, arching an eyebrow. He looked me over, all the way down to my skates, before lifting those blue eyes to me. “Good job.”
My hands tightened on the railing, as a strong sensation passed through.
“Doesn’t victory taste so good?” He whispered.
I nodded again.
He held my gaze and leaned further in. “Give me a taste.” He whispered.
What? Here? Now. In front of my teammates? I would never. I was not that type… I felt my legs move to the edge. I wanted to stop myself, seeing the smirk on his face. He looked to his right briefly, his blue eyes seemingly twinkling more as he turned back to me.
“Now Blaise.”
Who the fuck did he think he was? I closed the distance between our faces as I pressed my lips against his soft and slightly parted ones.
I had not only shocked myself, but apparently from the abrupt halt of noises on the ice and around the rink, I had shocked everyone else in attendance. The only one not at all phased was Gunnar, as he moved his lips slowly against me. Taking pleasure in the soft sensitive flesh, he kissed my lips, as if it was his most treasured possession.
You are.
I swear I heard his voice say those words in my head as we both slowly parted. I wanted to keep kissing him. And if I wasn’t mistaken by the look on his face, Gunnar also wanted to continue.
“It’s a closed practice.”
I inhaled sharply and pulled back. What the—-what the fuck had I done? Trying to control my beating heart and the panic rising, I turned to Otto who had spoken and made his way over.
I gripped the railing tightly. What the fuck Blaise.
“Is it?” Gunnar asked nonchalantly. He looked at Otto, but reached out and caressed my face, before turning to me and sliding his index finger across my bottom lip. “I’ll wait for you outside okay.”
“Okay.” I nodded. No, no, not okay.
Otto turned to look at me in shock. “Blaise!”
I turned to him apologetically. “Uhm…I….” But I didn’t know what to say, so I turned and skated away. Only to actually find myself once more in the middle of the ice rink, all eyes on me as excited whispers went around. The team was having a field day.
“See, I told you.”
“OMG.”
“Her and Gunnar?”
“I thought they were just friends.”
“Somebody told me they’ve been practicing together.”
“Oh they’re so cute.”
“This can’t be good.”
“What about Zoe?”
When the last person said that all our eyes collectively turned to our captain. Zoe was calmly marking her routine, not paying an ounce of attention to the chatter.
Good for her. Maybe she hadn’t even noticed.
Kelly was having a field day as she spun around me. “All hail the great and mighty…”
“Stop that.” I grabbed her hand, to stop her absurdness. “I don’t even know what I’m doing.”
“I’ve never seen you act like this.”
“Blaise.”
We both looked up to Otto staring at me seriously. His arms across his chest.
“Yikes, big daddy Otto is mad.” Kelly snickered.
“Don’t ever call him that again.” I gagged and skated to him.
**
“I don’t….this isn’t like you.”
“Why are you getting so upset?”
“Because I told you. Gunnar isn’t somebody you should be messing with.”
I scoffed. “It’s not even serious.”
“It’s not serious?” Otto screeched. “You kissing him, in front of everybody is not serious?”
I huffed and put my hands on my hips. “I kiss you and we’re not serious.” I countered.
Otto’s mouth dropped open. He stared at me his eyes narrowed, brows coming together as if in pain. He scoffed and clenched his jaws as he looked away.
I sighed and reached out to touch his arm. “That came out way harsher than I meant.” I replied softly.
Otto sighed and turned around, he placed his hands on my cheeks as he stared down at me. “Blaise…” he whispered emotionally.
“Don’t.” I whispered sensing him about to close the distance between us.
Otto stopped.
“You’re my partner and friend. I don’t want to ruin that.” I shook my head. “Besides.” I whispered softly. “The tension and chemistry is great on ice. That’s why we work.”
Otto sighed and dropped his arms as he stared at the ground. “We haven’t even tried.”
“I don’t want to take the risk.” I admitted. “Not with you. I care too much about you.”
“He’s going to hurt you Blaise.” Otto spoke up emotionally. “He’s….he’s….he’s playing games with you. He’s not serious. He doesn’t even know what that word means.”
“How do you know so much about Gunnar?” I chuckled.
“Why can’t you just trust me!” He begged.
I blinked in surprise at his outburst. My usually calm, sweet and collected Otto.
He panted and turned in frustration. “I fucking hate him.” He heaved. “I hate that he put his sights on you. He knows your mine—-“ Otto stopped abruptly and turned around sheepishly.
I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m yours?” I stated.
“Is she?”
We both turned to the other voice in the room, that had entered unannounced.
Gunnar chuckled as he stepped away from the door and came towards us calmly.
“Didn’t you know Otto, Blaise only likes belonging to one person.”
I put my hands on my hips in disbelief.
“Come here Blaise.”
I immediately walked over to Gunnar’s outstretched hand. Falling into his embrace as he casually put his arm around my shoulder.
“Blaise!” Otto yelled taking a step forward.
I blinked at Gunnar, surprised to find myself by his side. “Why am I listening to you?”
He toyed with a lock of my hair. “Isn’t she so obedient?” He winked at me, before turning to Otto.
“What did you did you do to me?” I demanded.
“What did you do to her?” Otto echoed, his hands forming fists.
Gunnar frowned as he got behind me and put both arms around me. He laid his head in the crook of my neck. “Blaise came to me. All on her own.” He kissed my cheek. I turned my head to him. Our faces grew closer as I kissed him . My eyes closing, as I took pleasure in the kiss. His lips seriously were so soft, and now a little cold. I kissed him harder. I wanted to warm him.
“How dare you touch her—-“ Otto heaved taking a stance as if getting ready to attack.
What the fuck was going on?
“Her?” Gunnar asked, breaking off our kiss. “Her who?” His eyes widened in surprise. “Blaise…get on your knees.”
I immediately dropped to the floor besides him. My brows furrowed in confusion.
Otto’s mouth dropped.
“She’s just a human Otto, why so serious?”
“What the hell are you guys talking about?” I asked trying to get up but unable to. “Gunnar….” I glared at him.
He smiled and ran his hand over my hair, down my face, slipping one of his fingers into my mouth. “That means, I can do whatever I want….with my…Blaise.”
Otto took a step forward. “Stop it.” He warned Gunnar.
“Or what?” Gunnar asked. He slipped his finger out of my mouth and put it in his mouth, giving it a long suck. As if making sure to transfer all my saliva into his mouth. His blue eyes took on a golden glow.
Otto darted his eyes to me in panic, and then to Gunnar. “You…you….!” His eyes widened in rage. As he came forward so fast, I got whiplash. But Gunnar was ready for him, deflecting his blows, as he moved back. If I wasn’t mistaken he seemed amused.
Otto yelled as he grabbed Gunnar’s collar and shoved him roughly against the door. “You will never fucking be one of us.” He roared.
Gunnar moved his head to the side and winked at me right before, Otto pulled his hand back and punched him square in the face.
I screamed out in shock. “Otto stop!” What the fuck was going on?
Otto pulled his fist back and punched Gunnar again, who had blood coming down his nose,…but also…chuckled?
“Otto!” I struggled to get up. He released Gunnar and turned to me desperately.
“Blaise listen….”
Gunnar groaned and fell to the ground. “Blaise…” he whispered.
I immediately gained strength as I rushed to Gunnar’s side. Lifting up his face, touching his tender cheek. I turned to Otto angrily. “Otto, what the fuck is wrong with you!”
Gunnar groaned as he put his head against my shoulder. I held him close.
“You can’t trust him!” Otto yelled angrily. “You don’t know who he is! Why can’t you see that?”
“Maybe because you guys blinded her.” Gunnar chuckled. His eyes glowed. “Why? Were they trying to hide her from me?” He questioned standing up, looking completely unharmed.
I turned to him in confusion.
“How…how?” Otto stuttered.
“How what?” Gunnar asked, stretching his hand out to me. I immediately took his hand and stood up. He turned to me and cupped my chin lovingly. “Did her parents not tell you? I marked her” He asked calmly as he kissed the tip of my nose. “We go way back…my Blaise and I….”
Otto frowned and shook his head. “You’re….you’re lying. You’re nothing but a liar.”
I shook my head. “I’m so….fucking confused.” I whispered, holding on to him.
Gunnar chuckled, pulling me into a hug as he turned to Otto mischievously. “Isn’t this fun?”
Otto turned on him. “You fucking—-“
“I don’t want to take the risk.” I admitted. “Not with you. I care too much about you.”
“He’s going to hurt you Blaise.”Otto spoke up emotionally. “He’s…he’s….” He trailed off as he looked around the room breathing hard.
I frowned and looked around too. “What’s wrong?”
After a couple seconds, Otto’s shoulder dropped. He shook his head and turned to me with a weary smile. “No…nothing, you’re right….sorry, I’m overreacting.”
I blinked at his sudden change of attitude.
Otto came to me and pulled me into a tight hug. “I really care about you Blaise. I always have.”
I smiled and hugged him back. “I know.”
We pulled apart slowly as he looked down at me. “I just want to protect you.” He whispered to me. “That’s what anybody wants to do.”
I shivered feeling a chill go through me.
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
I shook my head. “Just a little cold…..” I trailed off surprised to see the vapors of my breath as if we were in the middle of a winter wonderland. “Did somebody turn up the A.C.?” I turned around in confusion as I moved out of his embrace and rubbed my arms.
Otto grabbed my arm. “Let’s go.” He whispered urgently, pulling me out of the classroom.
The door slowly closed behind us. Gunnar leaned against it on the other side and chuckled lowly to himself, as the room turned ice cold.