The slap seemed to echo throughout the house.

Joseph’s eyes widened but he took a step back from us, his hand up in surrender.

I pressed my hot hand to my chest in shock. That slap actually hurt my hand, what the fuck.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to slap you, it was like the heat of the moment-----”

We turned our head at the intrusive sound of the doorbell.

Joseph groaned. “Who is that? One second.” He told us and walked out.

I bit my bottom lip as I stared at Marcel.

He wasn’t looking at me. Not meeting my eyes. His gaze locked on the floor. He then took a step back to close the door and I quickly intercepted it. Planting my body in the way.

“No.” I responded sternly. “That’s not what we’re doing.”

He shifted uncomfortably.

“Marcel look at me.” I whispered.

He averted his eyes towards his studio.

I grabbed his face and forced him to look at me. He tried to move his head but I insisted. Lifting his chin, our eyes finally meeting.

The pain I saw behind those hazel eyes caused my heart to shatter.

So much pain. And I knew it had nothing to do with that good ass slap I'd given him that my momma would have been proud of.

“Marcel...” I whispered shaking my head. “Everything else aside, this is not okay...this is never okay.”

I turned my head to the commotion in the hallway, the grunting and shouting.

I released Marcel’s face. “What the hell?” I stormed to the hallway.

“Where is she?”

“Get out of our house, I’m not gonna ask you again.”

“Fuck you man!”

“Tyler!” I cried out in disbelief.

Tyler and Joseph stopped pushing each other as he turned to me. “Lee! You’re okay.”

I shook my head in shock. “What are you doing here?”

“What the fuck man! These guys!” He shoved Joseph against the wall. “Calling around asking for you. When I brought you here, I told your parents I’ll take care of you----”

“That---that---that was last week!” I shouted.

“I just got the message----I was out of town....” He mumbled sheepishly. He put his hands up. “It doesn’t matter Lee, that’s enough come back okay. You've had your fun.”

Was I being punked? I was being punked. This was not happening. “What the fuck are you talking about?” I shouted at him. “I’ve been gone for eight months!” I pinched my fingers together and shook it at him. “Eight months!”

“And I get it now, come on you can’t still be angry-----”

I gasped as I saw Joseph’s fist connect with Tyler’s cheek. It was like a slow motion action film, the way Tyler’s mouth shook open, contorted and he stumbled back.

“Joseph!”

“I told you I wasn’t going to ask you again.” Joseph clenched his jaws, his blue eyes bright with rage.

“Get the fuck outta here!”

I whipped my head to Marcel who’d randomly materialized by my side. He rushed to Tyler and shoved him. “Get out of my fucking house!”

“What the hell is going on?” I whispered, my mouth dropped open.

In a blink of an eye all three guys were pushing and shoving the other.

I shook my head. “Nope, nope, this isn’t....” I put my hands up it was unreal. Completely unreal. Were they----so they----just gonna----in the living room----

Marcel grabbed Tyler’s collar and flung him to the ground. His leg back as he kicked him, once and then twice. I gasped and ran. That supernatural strength must been from whatever drugs were in his system.

“Marcel! Marcel stop! Stop it!” I grabbed his arm and dragged him back. “Joseph!” I frantically grabbed the blond man’s shirt to stop him from punching Tyler who was already down, his arms up shielding his pretty face.

I took a deep breath and let out a loud piercing scream.

If I had the range, I was sure I would have broken the windows.

I panted desperately trying to regain oxygen as all three guys stared at me mortified.

But they had stopped fighting.

“You!” I pointed to Marcel. “Go sober up now!” I pushed his shoulder away. He stumbled back without protest.

“You!” I pointed to the kitchen glaring at Joseph. “Ice on that hand.”

Joseph shot Tyler a look but made his way to the kitchen.

“And you!” I bent down and yanked him up. “Get the fuck out of here. I never want to see you ever like ever fucking ever.” I pushed him towards the door.

“Lee----”

“No! No Lee, nothing. Tyler get out! Get out! Get out!” I shoved him out the open front door and slammed it.

I turned and rushed down the entry way. Marcel was halfway up the stairs. Joseph was opening the freezer. “YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO MAKE ME LOSE MY FUCKING MIIIIIINNNNNDDDD!” I yelled so loudly, I had to shut my eyes.

I gasped and opened my eyes, feeling as if a heavy burden had been lifted off my shoulders. Oh fuck, oh fuck that had felt good. I exhaled contently and put my hands on my hips. I looked up the stairs and Marcel quickly looked away and jogged up to his room.

I turned to the kitchen and Joseph whipped his back to the freezer and grabbed an ice pack.

I sighed and took more deep breaths. Peace and quiet. Finally.

**

“You know punching isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” I whispered as I wrapped Joseph’s hand. It was red and still a little swollen. “People break their knuckles everyday thinking they can punch just any old way.”

I looked up to find Joseph staring at me deeply. He lowered his gaze and nodded. “Yeah, I’m not much of a fighter.” He grinned.

“You don’t say Rocky?”

He laughed and I chuckled. I tucked in the wrap and patted his hand softly. “There you go street fighter.”

I lifted my head to catch his eyes on me again.

What? What was there something on my face?

“Thanks nurse.” His blue eyes twinkled. “Even though you do scream like a banshee.”

“Look----” I stopped and turned to the entryway of the kitchen upon hearing footsteps.

Marcel was there in skinny grey sweatpants and a thin long sleeve white shirt. He didn’t meet our eyes as he ran his hands through his still damp hair. Freshly showered didn’t take away the tired bags under his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” He spoke solemnly. All he said were those two words. He didn’t elaborate, he didn’t give excuses or explanations. He simply turned around and we watched silently as he made his way back upstairs.

I didn’t move and I don’t think Joseph did either until Marcel closed the bedroom door behind him.

I sighed.

“Why did you leave?”

I turned back to Joseph. “Why do you keep asking?”

He rubbed the hand I had recently wrapped. His blue eyes once again lifting up to me. “We were really worried about you.”

I looked him over quietly. Was he serious? Did he mean it? There was no malice in his voice. I lowered my eyes and shrugged. “I’m sure you were hoping I didn’t come back.”

To my surprise Joseph smiled. “A small part of me.” He admitted but leaned forward. “But a much bigger part was extremely worried about your whereabouts and another part instantly relieved on seeing you at the door Lee.”

I bit down on my bottom lip to stop from smiling. No, no don’t fall for it. It's just words. Just words. But Joseph kept smiling that adorable smile of his. His blue eyes twinkling and I couldn’t help it. I shook my head and chuckled briefly. “Whatever.” I picked up the glass of water and brought it to my lips.

Joseph leaned even closer, his lips brushing my ear. “I’m starving, what are the off chances that we can get our little crackhead to cook something.”

I spit out my water all over the table. Unable to breathe. I turned to Joseph who looked extremely proud of himself. I shook my head and burst out in laughter. “That’s not funny!” I gasped. “Was it crack? Was he doing crack?” I turned to Joseph.

I hit the table and stood up. “Marcel are you a crackhead!” I shouted up. “Crack is whack! I better not see you doing anymore drugs!” I took deep breaths and plopped back down in my chair and turned to Joseph who really seemed to be having a staring problem lately. “No, but I’m actually like legit concerned.” I whispered. “Is he a crackhead, like a crackhead, crackhead?”

Joseph shook his head. “When he binges he can’t paint. When he doesn’t paint he goes into a downward spiral.” Joseph blinked. “4 times? Or something where it was bad like today.” Joseph chuckled. “I’ve done way more drugs and way more frequently than Marcel but it’s that fucking binging that----” he shook his head. “That’s scary. He goes completely unresponsive.”

I groaned and buried my face.

“Disappointed he’s not so perfect?” Joseph asked slowly.

I stared at Joseph in confusion. “I don’t think Marcel’s perfect.” I countered.

Joseph moved his jaw slowly. He smiled and shrugged. “Okay well, maybe next time you play runaway, leave a note so we don’t have to worry about you.”

I scoffed and crossed my arms. “Well maybe next time I play runaway, I’ll make sure both spares are in two fucking different locations.”

Joseph arched an eyebrow. His lip twitching. “Touché.” He whispered.

I shrugged and rubbed my thumb.

Joseph leaned back in his chair. “You left and came back....fiesty....”

I cocked my head to the side. Oh my God. I saw it in his blue eyes. He was egging me on. Did he want a fight? Was he looking for me to counter him? Was that a smirk on his face? I sat back also and crossed my arms over my chest and pursed my lips.

“Okay maybe not fiesty....” He reiterated putting his hand out. “Bold?” He suggested his eyes teasing as he smiled.

“You hurt my feelings.” I spoke straightforward.

I saw the smile immediately drop from his face.

He blinked several times in confusion and sat up straighter. “Lee...”

I swallowed hard and looked down. “Maybe I was being too sensitive, but you hurt my feelings. Both of you guys and I was getting insecure. I don’t get insecure. I’m a lot of things but insecure is not one of them. It’s a disgusting strange, foreign feeling and I didn’t want to stay in it.” I stared at my toes, noticing the white nail polish was chipping off. “It was making me think crazy.”

“No, insecure you are not.” Joseph whispered softly.

I looked up at him. “I don’t even know why I told you that----”

“We were trying to figure out a system for----” he motioned between us. “For us...for this...” Joseph cut me off. He sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Marcel doesn’t want what happened with us and Lulu to happen to you and us.” Joseph ran his finger over the edge of the table as he looked down. “So that day you up and vanished, we were discussing some changes.”

I hit the table. “Discussing changes about us, without me involved! How does that even work?”

“Discussing changes about me Lee!” Joseph rolled his eyes. “God, it’s not all about you.”

I gasped. “It’s not all about me?” I screeched.

“Yeah, it’s not!” Joseph reacted.

“You have got to be kidding me!” Was this kid for real.

“It’s been all about you from the moment you walked through those doors.” Joseph pointed to the door.

“That is not true!” I yelled. “This whole house is welcome to the Joseph Segovia show!”

Joseph scoffed. “We-wel-welcome to my show?” He sputtered. “If this was my show things will be a whole lot different.”

I took a couple deep breaths as I stared at him. This was insane. I looked away and got up only for him to reach out and grab my arm.

“No, no sit...I’m sorry, I'm sorry.” He whispered softly. “Don’t.....don’t go.”

I stared at him in confusion and shook my head. His bandaged hand still holding on to my arm. “Why not? What do you want from me Joseph?”

He slowly released my arm, and sat back in his chair. “I don’t know.”

I turned around and took a step to leave. Well that was my cue if any.

“I really don’t know.” Joseph spoke out again. “Lee, I don’t know.”

I stopped and turned around slowly to him.

He sighed and licked his bottom lip. “Look....” He leaned forward. He stared off for a minute as if thinking deeply, before focusing back on me. He paused for a minute and then rubbed his face. “Can you sit....please.”

I made my way back to the chair and sat down facing him.

Joseph sighed again. “What----what you said in the living room earlier.....that....” he shook his head. “It’s not completely accurate.” He smiled. “It’s how you feel, but not completely accurate.”

“My feelings are not accurate?”

Joseph chuckled. “You’re going to make this hard for me huh?”

I shrugged.

“Look....I want you to feel like that....” He nodded slowly. “But....I also don’t want you to feel like that.”

I stared at him blankly. “SO you want ----”

Joseph put his index finger over my lips to shut me up. “No, let me-----say, something.”

I nodded and he slowly removed his finger.

He chewed on his bottom lip nervously. “Okay....but it’s just because.....well you were blatantly honest with me earlier.”

I nodded.

“I’m not proud of this by any means.” He continued.

“Okay....” I whispered.

“Like, I don’t want that to affect----”

“Joseph!” I cut him off. “Say it.” I reached out and squeezed his arm. “I’m literally dying of curiosity.”

“I thought this would have all been over in three months or less.” He responded.

I slowly withdrew my hand, feeling a cold chill pass through my body.

Joseph shrugged. “I like to have fun, I enjoy people. You’re smart, you’re funny and gorgeous, nice body.”

I nodded. “Thanks for being honest.” I pulled back

“But I also....like being around you Lee.” He continued. “Not like ‘oh she’s cool or whatever’ but like....I like being around you a lot.”

I rubbed my palm nervously.

He lowered his head slightly to catch my gaze. I was forced to look up as he gave me a sheepish smile. “As in...I want to keep being around you...”

I nodded and looked back down.

“I missed you a lot when you were gone.” He whispered. “We felt the emptiness, both of us.”

I smiled sadly. “Well glad I could fill that space.” I whispered all of a sudden feeling extremely tired. “I guess I’ll be around.”

Silence fell between us. Joseph staring at me and me unable to meet his eyes. I guess I’ll be around until they bore of me. Which meant, if I had any sort of dignity, I needed to hightail it out of here. Sooner rather than later. That thought was causing my stomach to turn.

“I’m curious to try this.” Joseph whispered softly. “I like you so much more than Lulu.”

I know that was supposed to make me happy. But it instead created a sadness in my heart. Tears immediately welling up. Spilling over and running down my cheeks. I quickly wiped it and cracked a smile. “Maybe I’m in way over my head.” I whispered, my voice cracking.

Joseph’s eyes roamed my face worridly. “Lee, please don’t cry. We'll work-----”

“I just want to be a roommate for right now.” I whispered and stood up, trying not to break down in front of him. I smiled and took several deep breaths. “Really eventful night, I’m gonna uhm...im gonna go to my room.”

Joseph was staring at his wrapped hand. But he nodded solemnly.

I turned and walked away.

**

The next morning, there was nobody downstairs. No coffee, no smoothie, no lights, so I knew both of them were still fast asleep in their bedroom.

Or so I thought. Going to the living room to get my name tag, I saw Joseph sprawled out on the couch in his boxers.

I quietly left in confusion. He hadn’t slept in their bed? Why not? And if he was still sleeping, was he not going in to work today?

I tried not to but Marcel and Joseph were all I could think about all day. As I booked people in, as I checked them out, As I answered phone calls. All I could think of was them.

What had I gotten myself into?

Lee seriously?

Serious-fucking-ly?

I caught feelings and got caught up. I legit just walked into this awesome couple’s house and became the home breaker that I said I would never be.

I legit felt entitled to a guy, polyamory aside, who was with somebody else.

Like I came into this head first, ass out and look where it got me.

Sad.

Fucking sad as shit.

It was hard to make my way home, but I knew I had to. I couldn’t hide away at Lady’s or stay at the bar until closing. I was not about that life.

All this for some dick?

Seriously, what was wrong with me?

But it wasn’t just for dick was it?

I’d grown attached. Faster even then when Marcel said he loved me. I just hadn’t admitted it. Even with Joseph, I’d growned attached. I mean how long has it been eight months? Eight entire months with them. Can you blame me?

But it seemed, I had reached my limit. Time to pack so as not to get hurt any further.

Oh and I should probably give Marcel the envelope of rent money that he kept putting back on my desk. It was cute before, but now that things were going downhill. I needed my hands to be clean.

**

“Yes?” I turned to the door.

I put down my laptop, closing the screen where I’d been looking for an ad for a roommate or a cheap ass studio. “It’s open.”

My door slowly opened.

Jesus, I couldn’t even stop the smile that spread upon seeing him. He looked so much better. Color was back in his cheeks and gone were the bags.

Don’t do drugs kids.

“Well, somebody cleans up nice.” I offered up.

Marcel swallowed hard and rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t want to force you.” His voice croaked. He blinked and looked down.

I also looked down, he was barefoot. I might not like my feet and toes, but I could appreciate other peoples feet in moderation.

“I don’t----I don’t want to make---to make the---the same mistake as the past.” He whispered almost painfully. His green eyes clouded over as he averted his gaze from me. “I get blinded---by my own happiness Eloise...” He panted softly as if he was finding it hard to breathe. “That I assume----it’s uhm...it’s shared by all.”

I held myself very still as he spoke.

This was Marcel. Thee Marcel. In front of my door. Talking in this way. Causing my heart to ache from the pain I heard in his voice.

“I don’t want to hurt you---I never wanted to hurt you.” He finally lifted his eyes. But just as quickly he licked his bottom lip and looked down. He grimaced. “I’m uh...I’m gonna go to the studio.” He turned quickly.

“No.” I shook my head. “No you’re not. You don’t just get to hide inside your studio.” I put my hands out. “You don’t just get to binge on narcotics cause you feel like crap!” I shot out of bed. “You don’t get to just say your piece and fucking walk away!”

Marcel turned back around, lifting his eyes to me. He nodded and I saw his Adams apple move up and down.

I heaved. “I’m so mad at you! Let me fucking be mad at you!” uncontrollably tears ran down my face.

Marcel nodded again, this time his hands by his side as he stood by my doorway.

I gasped and lowered my head trying to wipe my eyes. I was a fucking mess was what I was. I thought I was over it. Why had these tears appeared? Where had the overflow of emotions came from? WHy was I mad at him? Because he told me he loved me. Because he didn’t keep up the illusion. Because I loved him. I loved him so much, it wreaked havoc on my heart and mind.

And then he stepped forward. And then he kept walking. And soon enough his arms were around me. It was the warmth of the embrace, the scent of his that I was longing for. It was his entire aura that caused me to cling to him. To hide my face against his shoulder as he rubbed my back. As he whispered he loved me. As he asked me to forgive him.

No, no, I don’t want to.

But I already had.

He pulled back and used his hands to wipe the tears off my face. “It’s okay, let’s pull back. We don’t have to do anything you’re not----”

Call me a selfish bitch. Do it. Cause my arms wrapped around his neck and I kissed him desperately. Moaning into his mouth.

He immediately kissed me back, pressing my body to him. Just as quickly he pulled back, putting me at arms length. “No Eloise, I mean you don’t have----”

“Shut-up.” I whispered cupping his face and kissing him again. I just wanted to be in his arms again.

Marcel didn’t have to be told twice as he immediately angled my face to deepen the kiss. I was surprised by the intensity behind the kisses but I matched it. Allowing him to pick me up and walk me to the bed.

Just for a moment, just for a moment, I wanted to forget about the hell that was these past two weeks. I wanted to feel the love and share the love.

And I could always do that in his arms.

There wasn’t much talking as he laid on top of me. The kisses were urgent but the fucking was slow. Slow and deep. It seems we just wanted to hold on to each other for as long and as much as we could. I held on to his back, my legs wrapped around his hip as he satisfied my every craving. Sucking on my neck as he lifted my thighs higher, deepening our contact.

And as I came, I wrapped my arms around his neck so tightly, I was sure I was choking him, but he didn’t let up. His moans and grunts as he exploded inside me had me seeing stars behind my eyelids.

**

I ran my hand over his chest in the blissful aftermath of our lovemaking.

I turned my head at the knock on my door. “Yeah?” I called out, lifting my head, staring at Marcel in confusion.

“You two done? Can I come in?”

I looked at Marcel worridly, but he wasn’t giving me any lead. He actually just stretched. I pulled the covers up to my chest and sat up. “Yeah---yes you---”

My bedroom door opened and Joseph walked in confidently in his grey sweats and cut off white shirt.

Out of all of us. He was the most in shape, that was for sure. I mean he went to the gym on a regular schedule.

I looked down but he came and plopped by my bed and sat down. He wrinkled his nose. “Smells heavily of sex.”

I covered my face, but to my surprise Joseph reached out and pulled my hand down. “This seems to be the best time as any seeing as you and Marcel made up.”

I hugged the sheets to my chest as if Joseph hadn’t seen me naked and blown my back out several times. “Okay.”

“So I have an idea, if you’re both willing to try.” Joseph spoke up. “Because as much as Lee thinks I hate her, I don’t and as much as I would love for us two”-----he motioned to Marcel. “To keep on how we have been doing----I can’t stop you from wanting to be with your soulmate.”

“Huh?” I whispered looking quickly at Marcel. Soulmate? Hadn’t he said Joseph was his soulmate----ooooohhhh... I felt a deep warmth run over my body as Marcel watched me carefully.

“Lee.” Joseph turned his attention to me. “If you hadn’t played runaway, we would have had a chance to talk to you that night and tell you what we came up with.”

I grimaced at Joseph and he actually smiled. “We can fuck whoever we want, whenever we want, without anybody being-----” he moved his head. “ Or should I say getting in the way.”

I widened my eyes.

“We won’t force any feeling on other people.” Joseph continued. “We’ll just let it flow.

I turned to see Marcel nod at him.

“And....we all have equal say in everything.” Joseph grinned. “Of course I'm always right....”

I giggled.

“But we’ll try it out. We’ll try out this new way for 2 months to see how it flows.” Joseph concluded. “If it doesn’t....than whoever wants to leave can leave.”

I held my breath as I stared at Joseph and the Marcel. “Oh.”

“So what do you say Lee?” Joseph asked.

Marcel put his hand up. “Oh and I should add we’re not allowed to go missing for three days without any sort of fucking explanation cause it turns the entire house upside down.”

“And we’re not allowed to binge on drugs or I'm all the way out.” I stared back at Marcel. “Or locking ourselves in the studio to escape conversations.”

“And you’re not allowed to put that annoying pouty face when I want alone time with Marcel.” Joseph pointed out. “Don’t think I don’t see it.”

I gasped “Well, no backhanded comments. No being petty---”

“Okay now you’re asking for too much.” Joseph frowned.

I laughed and covered my mouth.

Both guys stared at me warmly. I looked back at them with a smile on my face.

“Deal?” Marcel whispered.

I put my hand out. “Deal!”

Joseph grinned and put his hand ontop of mine. “Deal!”

“Deal.” Marcel concluded.

We waited a couple seconds as Joseph and I stared at our hands. We looked at each other briefly before turning to Marcel.

He rolled his eyes and reluctantly slapped his hand on top of ours. “You two are so cheesy.”