3 months later

“Hey.” I smiled brightly and waved.

Marcel leaned closer and licked his bottom lip. Those pink lips of him immediately shining. His green eyes roamed my face as if he hadn’t seen me just three days ago. He ran his hands through his wavy hair, which was now getting longer than I remember it being. He looked down, his long eyelashes seemingly caressing his upper cheek before he looked up at me again.

“I’m guessing you’re not going to make your flight tomorrow?” He stated knowingly. His voice held an even tone but a slight tipped edge to it.

I sighed and smiled sheepishly. Slowly I shook my head. “No, I won’t. I uhm....I had to cancel it again.” I whispered.

I watched his eyes lower again. He moved his head to the side and sighed. Both hands now ran over his face and raked through his hair. He looked back up at me.

I leaned closer to the camera. “I can’t....I can’t leave.” I whispered, my heart breaking at the expression on his face. “Trust me, I want to be with you guys right now. So badly.”

His smile shook as he nodded. “I know...I know...I just.....”He shrugged. His smile widened but I saw it didn’t reach his eyes. “How’s your dad?”

I nodded and inhaled deeply and exhaled. “Good. He’s doing good.” I smiled.

“ELLIE!”

I turned around, staring at my closed bedroom door. “Yes!”

“Are you busy? What are you doing?”

“I’m on a call mom give me----”

“Ellie! This isn’t working.”

I sighed and turned back to my laptop.

“Hey! Sorry I was rushing to get home.” Joe smiled as he tucked his recently cut hair behind his ear. His blue eyes sparkling as he pulled up a chair next to Marcel. “Lee, how are you hun?”

My smile returned. “Hi Joe. I’m good love. How was the----”

“ELLIE!”

I bit down on my bottom lip and stared at the screen apologetically. “Hey, guys I gotta go....”

Marcel stared at the screen without responding.

Please don’t look at me like that Marcel.

“Okay, we can call you later? Or maybe tomorrow?” Joe suggested. “Whatever works for you Lee. Don’t worry.”

I watched Joe nudge Marcel’s arm discreetly, but not too discreet cause I picked up on it.

Marcel nodded and I witnessed the forced smile on his face once more.

I know. I know. I feel the same way. It just seems Joe and I are better at hiding our feelings than you are Marcel.

“Yeah, we’ll talk to you some other time.” He answered. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I replied.

Marcel got up and walked away from the screen. Joe and I watched him walk away before our gaze landed back on each other. I smiled.

“You look stressed Lee.” Joe whispered, his eyebrows furrowing. “Are you sure everything’s okay?”

I nodded and smiled. “Just being back here is a bit stressful, but I’m okay. I am.”

Joseph smiled softly. “We know you’re lying, but we’ll let it slide.”

I chuckled. “I miss you.”

His smile brightened. “I miss you so much Lee. I’ve been wanting to tell----”

“ELLIE! Jesus are you coming!”

“Joe, I gotta go.”

“Yeah, yeah of course....bye Lee....”

I blew him a kiss. “Bye love.”

I put down my laptop and shot out of my chair. “I’m coming!” I rushed to my door and ran downstairs. “What happened? What did you break?”

Virginia Grady sucked her teeth at me. “I didn’t break anything.”

I turned to my dad in his wheelchair. He chuckled softly and shook his head. He gripped the handle and grunted to try and get up. We stepped back a bit and watched him strain to stand on his feet. My heart sinking.

“I can----walk----walk to the sofa...”

“Here....here dad, come on let me push you sit, sit.” I said quickly ushering him back down to his wheelchair. I quickly grabbed the handle before he could change his mind. I tried to push but it didn’t budge.

“See.” My mom widened her eyes. “Now what? Who broke what?”

I looked down and shot her a look as I lifted the brakes and pushed the wheelchair. She hid her embarrassment by huffing and rolling her eyes.

“Well, don’t be a smartass and come watch the movie with us.”

I smirked as I wheeled my dad to the living room.

**

Joseph munched on a carrot as he calmly watched Marcel cut up the cucumber.

Marcel silently added it to the salad bowl. He poured the olive oil liberally. Reaching for the vinegar, he chewed on his bottom lip nervously.

Joseph watched him carefully. Marcel’s mind was a million miles away and he knew why. Yesterday as the date of Lee’s third rebooking approached, he’d paced around in anticipation. Excitement filling the entire house.

“Our girlfriend’s coming back.” He’d kissed Joseph proudly.

Joseph was nervous, giddiness running through his veins. He’d never understood the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder, until now. Every time he saw her on the screen, it only made his desire grow. He wanted to hold her, to partake of her. To get her alone, to talk to her, to see if she would let him in completely. About two months ago she randomly started calling him love and it made his heart jump.

I love you. Is that okay? Can I love you? He wanted to tell her. To ask her. But not over the phone, not through the camera.

“If you love her, just tell her.” Marcel would shrug and smile.

But Joseph needed to do face to face. He needed her to be in front of him.

“So...just to make sure that we’re all on the same page....us three right? Like completely, like the three of us.....”

“Yes.” Joseph laughed and shoved him. “And don’t say something stupid like I told you so or whatever.”

Marcel chuckled. His green eyes twinkling as he grabbed his boyfriend, bringing him down on the couch. “I love you Joseph.” He kissed him heartily. “I love us.” He ran his hand over Joseph’s growing bulge as his tongue brushed against his lover’s lips. “ And I can’t wait for our girlfriend to come back.”

Joseph couldn’t wait either. He was thinking ahead. Way ahead. To their future, to where they would settle, to marriage...kids...to an actual family. A family that cared. A family that understood.

“What a fucking waste of a son. Don’t fucking touch me, I can get up by myself.”

Joseph picked up his wine and sipped it slowly as he smiled at his boyfriend. “Marcel, you know how Lee loves the color yellow? What if---”

“She’s not coming back.” Marcel sprinkled the salt.

Joseph took a deep breath. “Don’t say that. She just needs sometime----”

“She’s not coming back.” Marcel slammed the salt on the counter. “She’s not coming back.” He took a deep breath. “She’s not....” He hung his head and exhaled. “Fuck.” He closed his eyes and softly pinched the bridge of his nose.

Joseph swallowed hard and slowly put the wine down. “Marcel…”

Marcel shook his head and inhaled deeply. He pushed he hair away from his forehead and straightened up. His eyes wet. Tears threatening to spill over. He licked his bottom lip and chuckled. “J’étais trop content.It was too good. Je savais.”

“Hey.” Joseph reached out and. “She’s coming back. Just slight family issues, reckon she won’t tell us exactly what happened… but she’ll be back and she’ll tell us in her own time.”

Marcel shrugged and looked down. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter. It’s just you and me Joseph. Maybe that’s the way it should be.” He reached over and grabbed the black pepper.

Joseph climbed off the stool and grabbed his boyfriend’s arm again. Marcel turned to him reluctantly.

Joseph smiled and cupped his face. Those green eyes that he loved so dearly stared back at him, letting him see the pain coursing through Marcel’s soul.

He stretched up slightly, allowing his arms to wrap around Marcel’s neck. He tilted his head up and kissed those soft lips of his. He smiled and kissed him again. Pushing Marcel’s unruly soft hair back.

“It’s you and me… and Lee.” Joseph whispered encouragingly.

Marcel stared at him silently for a couple seconds. Then the corner of his mouth tilted up in that infamous smirk of his. “You mean it.” He smiled. “Why? Why do you mean it?”

Joseph smiled. “Because, I decided to finally, finally stop comparing Eloise Perry Grady to Lulu de la Plume.”

“Joseph, Eloise is nothing like—-“

“She made us both fall in love with her.” Joseph cut him off. “That’s very Lulu like.” Joseph dropped his hands. “You painted more with her around. You haven’t painted since she left.” Joseph smiled sadly. “After Lulu left, you didn’t paint for 3 month.”

Marcel shrugged. “Because we were in the worst time of our lives. I can’t work with that stress.”

“You were so in love with her.”

“Why are we talking about this now?” Marcel asked in confusion.

“Because I need to. I need to. And I was in love with her. Like hit you in the face with a ton of bricks in love.” Joseph whispered intensely.

Marcel cocked his head to the side and watched him. “Yeah you were.”

“And you just… you just let her go… just like that…just… and a part of me knows it’s so easy for you to just—-“

“It’s not.” Marcel cut him off seriously. “It’s not easy Joseph. It never is. It’s a choice. Don’t confuse love and lust. I will always be attracted to Lulu, but I’ll never love her again.” He spoke firmly. “She hid a part of her from me that I hated. A malicious part that turned the freest sweetest guy I’d ever met into…” his voice broke.

Joseph took a step back. “Into an insecure asshole?”

Marcel reached out and took Joseph’s hand in his. “Why don’t you ever tell me exactly what went down?” He squeezed his hand. “What the fuck did you guys do to each other?”

Joseph looked down at their hands and squeezed Marcel’s. “It was a twisted game. A sick mind game that turned really competitive when she was done with me.” He replied honestly. Joseph looked down in shame. “She reminded me of——-“ he trailed off and sighed. “I wanted to be a part of you guys so bad.”

Marcel lifted Joseph’s chin. “You were already a part Joseph.”

“I was temporary.”

“That’s not true.” Marcel shock his head. “Lulu agreed—-“

“Of course she agreed to it. As did I. We do all these things to please you.” Joseph’s voice broke. “To make you happy. It’s so easy to say yes to you Marcel.”

Marcel dropped his hand from Joseph’s face.

“Even if we don’t believe it. We say we do. You make it seem so effortless.” Joseph put his arms up. “So we go along with it. We know you get bored Marcel, so maybe it’s a month, maybe three and then I knew I’ll have you to myself again.”

Marcel silently leaned back on the counter as he watched his boyfriend speak passionately.

Joseph took a step back. “Lulu taught me so much about you without even realizing it. What sets you off, what turns you on, how to reel you back in, how to fucking manipulate your emotions.” His voice cracked as tears ran down his face. “And so I lied, and I played the game and I got the guy. I got the guy.” Joseph wiped his face with a shaky sad smile.

A tear rolled down Marcel’s cheek as he dropped his head. Staring at the floor.

“And then you were catching on to it, and you were questioning my intentions, your mind was off, I thought I was going to lose you… I didn’t want to lose you, I didn’t. So I wanted to get us another distraction. That’s why I insisted on a roommate, somebody different, somebody to distract you for a couple months until you got tired.” Joseph continued, unable to stop himself. He’d started and now he had to finish.

Marcel wouldn’t look at him.

But he couldn’t stop. He had to. He had to come clean.

“But then we land on Lee. Beautiful, funny, compassionate. She had you hooked from day 1. You wouldn’t stop staring at her.” Joseph ran his finger through his hair. “I saw the look in your eyes that first day you showed her the house and I knew. I knew because that was the same look you gave me that first time our eyes caught across the room.”

Marcel slowly lifted his head to Joseph.

“And that look, that piercing stare of yours took my breath away. And I knew it did the same to Lee.”

Marcel sighed and closed his eyes.

“So I played the game I learned. Reel her in. Make it nice, fun, but confusing.”

“Joseph….” Marcel whispered and covered his face. “Jesus….Joseph….”

“But Lee didn’t know that game. There were so many opportunities for her to play and she never took it. She never saw how much of an impact she had on you otherwise she would have destroyed me.” Joseph shook his head. “I was the only one playing a game while you two were falling in love, and I hated it, I hated it because she was pulling me in. At times making me forget why I was in this. Making me question my motives, guilt eating me inside. I was tormented. At times I was so happy, other times so scared. Scared. So scared that I would be Lulu, so scared…so worried of losing you.”

Joseph shook his head and looked down. “I was on the defensive, I couldn’t see that I was halfway in love with her.” He shrugged. “And when she left, it hurt. A lot.” He whispered. “So much that I don’t even remember when I had stopped wanting her gone. And when she came back I was so happy but I’d broken her and I wasn’t proud of it. And I hated myself for it. A sad Lee is not the Lee I wanted to see. And her upset made you upset and…what the fuck had I done?” He sighed. “I was mentally exhausted and it’s when I truly stepped back that…” he smiled sadly. “I saw what you were seeing all along.”

Joseph wiped his face and raked his fingers through his recent cut hair. “I’m such a fucking fool and I’m sorry.” He shrugged. “I’m so sorry.” He whispered. “And you keep loving me and you keep holding me and Lee keeps accepting me and she keeps being just this ray of light and I just....God, I want what you think we can have.” He finished in a whisper.

Marcel stared at his boyfriend silently.

Ashamed Joseph lowered his head. He closed his eyes as their house remained in silence.

This was it. This was how it felt like to love and lose. But he was tired and Marcel was sad and Lee was sad and they weren’t all three together and there was no family gathering in the living room possible of bringing back to their happy place.

Their happy place.

Joseph blinked and lifted his head. Their?

Marcel straightened up. “You don’t know how long I’ve been trying to get the original Joseph Segovia back.” He smiled sadly. “And who knew, all it took was a homeless girl from Texas.”

Joseph chuckled and shook his head. “She’ll hate you for saying that.”

“I know.” Marcel cocked his head to the side, his green eyes locking with Joseph’s startling blues. “I’m sorry for introducing you to Lulu.” He admitted heavily. “It eats away at me----”

“NO!” Joseph put his hand up. “No more Lulu de la plume. No more apologies and just....let’s just....” He shrugged. “Let’s just be.”

Marcel sighed loudly and threw his head back to look up at the ceiling. “A narcissist, an insecure player and a pushover all walked into Marcel’s life one day.” He closed his eyes. “And he was happy.”

“Why are you talking about yourself in the third person?” Joseph asked.

“That’s something Eloise would ask.” Marcel replied.

Joseph nodded.

After a couple seconds Marcel lowered his head and opened his eyes to stare at his boyfriend. He reached out and caressed his tanned cheek. “I love you, you know. Issues and all.” He brushed his thumb over Joseph’s rosy lips and smiled. “The good always out ways the bad, just like in any relationship.” He leaned over and kissed the tip of the slightly shorter man’s nose. “And you put up with my bullshit without complaint, you leave me when I need to be alone without any issue. You ease my tantrums.” he gently kissed Joseph’s parted lips. “20% of the time you and Eloise get on my fucking nerves. But the other 80%, I love who I am when I’m with you both. Much, much, much more than who I was when I was with Lulu.”

Joseph closed his eyes and let Marcel pull him into a tight hug. “I love you so much Marcel. I love you and I’m sorry, I’m a fucking mess.” He whispered. “God, I hope Lee comes back. I truly do. I want what just slipped through my fingers.”

Marcel kissed the top of his head and buried his nose into the floral scent of his conditioner. “Me too Joseph. Me too.”

**

“Ellie the door!”

“Seriously!” I yelled slamming down my laptop in frustration. Again I couldn’t reach either of them. It had been 3 days. Were they okay? Was everything fine? Or were they ignoring me? No why would they? Oh, I don’t know maybe because I’ve been fucking pushing back the time I was going to return to the island.

I mean I wanted to go back more than anything. Trust me. More than anything. “You’re downstairs, you can’t open the door?”

“I know I ain’t raise no backtalking hussy!”

I groaned loudly and jogged down the stairs. I couldn’t do this anymore! I was going fucking insane! IN-FUCKING-SANE! Why was this happening to me?

“Besides, I’m cutting your father’s nails.”

I rolled my eyes and went to our front door. I was pretty sure it was more of her church friend coming over tryna do a prayer circle around my old man. Forcing him to confess to sins we all knew he ain’t commit. Like just cause he’s sick doesn’t me he was the heathen of the century. Far from it. Momma on the other hand, standing around strong as a bull. I know she got a shady past.

They need to pray for her to let me breathe.

I’m trying the best way I know how! Nobody, absolutely nobody told you two to keep this from me.

“Who is it?” I looked at the peephole. Two white guys---- I yanked the door open.

“Eloise.”

“Lee.”

What the actual----am I dreaming? Somebody pinch me and tell me I’m dreaming. I felt a ball of emotions rise from my stomach as I stared into those beautiful green eyes and that mischievous smirk. Then my gaze darted to those baby blues and that charming smile.

“Marcel? Joe?” I stepped out into the porch as if in a daze.

“Hey.” Marcel smiled and put his arms out. He was the closest to the door.

I gasped and leapt on him. Falling into his embrace.

“I missed you.” He whispered trying to kiss me. I tilted my head to him desperately our lips clashing. I reached for Joseph who grabbed my hand eagerly. Pulling me to him and then I found my lips against his. Joseph’s arms wrapping tight around me.

“God, Lee I missed you.” He hugged me.

“Ellie? Who are these young men?”

I dropped my arms and whirled around to my mother standing at the door curiously. I looked from Marcel to Joseph and then back again before smiling sheepishly at my mom. “Oh----these are---you know these are my roommates from the island.”

“Oh....the gay ones.” Virginia Grady exclaimed. She opened her door wide. “Come on in boys, come on in.”